Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
