I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
