making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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