dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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