I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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