we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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