After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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