my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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