I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.