1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.