the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.