She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.