if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.