The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
