All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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