ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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