just come out here and I will go home with you...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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