Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize