as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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