I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize