Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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