so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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