chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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