whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
