We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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