Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
