Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
