So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
