I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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