Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
