She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want a musical about memes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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