Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
