Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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