Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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