Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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