quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
