i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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