Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
