Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize