and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize