Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
