when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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