Small penises have feelings too.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
