I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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