last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
