If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
