Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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