He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
