i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
