Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
