saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize