So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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