Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize