Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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