I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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