You work out of a Hotel?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
