I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
