margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
