I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
don't judge my taste in strippers
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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