Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
BRING THE BAGELS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
