Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
