Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize